There's something i have no answers for so long.
Sometimes, i just give up on everything
Cause i really feel like i am a burden to everyone.
Idk, im so sad,
I really dont have anyone to really listen to me when i need someone to talk to.
During dinner, I behave so bad.
I thought i made a joke, but they seemed look serious into it.
Really feel want to pour my tears out.
And every single of my problems kind of mix when i feel bad of myself.
I have no confident in myself
Ive lost my listener for almost 1 months
Everyone keep blaming at me, like i have done nothing.
I dont know where to story, this is just a place that i look to..
I am really a sensitive girl lately,
Every small matter, made me hard to breath.
Ive lost my ego, always crying.
It make me even hard during night, where i can't make myself busy.
I will keep on asking why he left me? does 5 months is nothing for him? Still he loves me? What happens if the latest message is true? What happens if he really meant his 'move on'?
The questions still have no answers.
I feel bad, depressed, fatigue.
I really cant handle myself. I was clueless. He gave no clues to me whether my waitings worth me. I dont know. Its hurt inside. Its hurt.
I need only 4 words, 'i miss u too'
1st February 2018
It's 1:05 in the morning,
I still can't sleep,
Still reread our old conversation.
How i miss u, i cry for no reason.
You go away with part of my heart.
.
I miss the way u create a story about us.
I smile reasonly until my ears cause you're unic, honey.
Where can i find someone like you.
And after that i just dont realize my tears flow down my puffy cheeks.
As if i can shoo my tears back in, luckily everyone is sleeping.
I stop reading for a while and fluttering my tears with my hand.
I miss that time.
If i could turn back time, i wish i can be more caring to you,
I wish i can be more concern about your needs.
.
And im too late now,
I've lost my world,
I've lost my spirit,
I've lost my everything.
.
Its just me , forever alone .
29th January 2018
Kung Pau Chicken With Rice = RM15 |
ni babah aku okayyy ! |
Jackie Chan's handprint ! |
yang dah meninggal, diorang akan letak simbol ni ; Bruce Lee |
- BOOKED MAKANAN AWAL SEBELUM FLIGHT !
- KAJI DAHULU TEMPAT YANG BAKAL ANDA PERGI . Fyi, tempat blok kami tu tempat gengster fuhh seram bila dengar . Tapi, kalau kita tak kacau dia, dia tak kacau la kita . Jangan risau :))
- KAJI JUGA TEMPAT YANG MENARIK DI SEKITAR TEMPAT TINGGAL ANDA
- BAWA MAKANAN DARI RUMAH . MAKANAN DI SINI SANGAT MAHAL !
Sometimes, it is okay to let go the thing we love :))
.
5 months and it just left empty, like nothing happened.
All of jokes,
All of teases,
All of motivations,
All of dramas,
All of hopes,
All of you,
I miss every single second with you.
.
Its hurt,
When you are already focusing on your future with someone.
When you are already made up your mind just for someone.
When you are already mindsetting and planning everything for your future.
When you are already know whats your future be like.
Yes, it is just a fake hopes.
.
All of the hopes left fake.
Im trying so hard to let go of you.
Its hard cause i am just a girl.
.
You dont know,
How much time that i spent to reread our old conversation.
How much tears i wasted looking your eyes.
How much motivations that required to make myself even stronger everyday.
How much memory that i stepped out everytime it came.
.
Okay, maybe i think too much. I should focus on moving on 😇