Yesterday is something that is etched in my memory forever.
I still remember,
how struggle was I catching back those topic that im not into it,
How late was I sleeping to get ready for tomorrow's paper,
How crazy was I memorising every topic that hard to understand,
How tired was I balancing my time to rest and study (but actually, my rest time had been replaced as my study time),
And finally yahhhh my efforts paid off! I didnt expect to get that much! But yah, manjadda wajjada ❤
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
Been busy lately, making some business alhamdulillah, sales getting even more each day, and im still learning how to rocket my product 😂
I am now in the hospital, waiting for the medicine. Feeling so scared and curious when suddenly my ear bled heavily yesterday's night. I just touched my ear cause I felt ichy and watery inside my left ear. I thought too much when I saw the blood at my finger 😭
I started crying and hurriedly went to mom's room. After torch my ear, my mom can see the blood inside my ear. She said she will bring me to clinic tomorrow.
I slept very late yesterday cause customer's things havent packed up. With tissues all over my bed, I still gagahkan diri write all of customer's address to post their things out tomorrow.
Like seriousy almost everyday, I have to post parcel and busy treating all of my customers. Can you just imagine? I replied to all of their DMs and Whatsapp from more than 50 customer every day, not everyday, i mean when its weekend. I dont get enough rest, but what i like is I can keep myself busy, i dont have a boyfriend, so nahh the more i busier, the more i can forget my ex, gosh i miss him, okay okayy erinnn dont cry 😂 like seriously, when he's gone, I really feel something lost inside, its okay, im strongggg hiyarghh 💪 Really, i miss him hahahah okay.
My heart beats so hard as my spm's result will be out by tomorrow, i hope my result will be the best as much as my efforts given. When the result will be out, i want to pursue my studies and doing business as my part time job. I really want to explore myself, dreaming and planning about my dream future.
Please pray for me, my spm's result and my future. Thank you for all of your support, silent reader ❤
14th March 2018
-12:22pm
There's something i have no answers for so long.
Sometimes, i just give up on everything
Cause i really feel like i am a burden to everyone.
Idk, im so sad,
I really dont have anyone to really listen to me when i need someone to talk to.
During dinner, I behave so bad.
I thought i made a joke, but they seemed look serious into it.
Really feel want to pour my tears out.
And every single of my problems kind of mix when i feel bad of myself.
I have no confident in myself
Ive lost my listener for almost 1 months
Everyone keep blaming at me, like i have done nothing.
I dont know where to story, this is just a place that i look to..
I am really a sensitive girl lately,
Every small matter, made me hard to breath.
Ive lost my ego, always crying.
It make me even hard during night, where i can't make myself busy.
I will keep on asking why he left me? does 5 months is nothing for him? Still he loves me? What happens if the latest message is true? What happens if he really meant his 'move on'?
The questions still have no answers.
I feel bad, depressed, fatigue.
I really cant handle myself. I was clueless. He gave no clues to me whether my waitings worth me. I dont know. Its hurt inside. Its hurt.
I need only 4 words, 'i miss u too'
1st February 2018
It's 1:05 in the morning,
I still can't sleep,
Still reread our old conversation.
How i miss u, i cry for no reason.
You go away with part of my heart.
.
I miss the way u create a story about us.
I smile reasonly until my ears cause you're unic, honey.
Where can i find someone like you.
And after that i just dont realize my tears flow down my puffy cheeks.
As if i can shoo my tears back in, luckily everyone is sleeping.
I stop reading for a while and fluttering my tears with my hand.
I miss that time.
If i could turn back time, i wish i can be more caring to you,
I wish i can be more concern about your needs.
.
And im too late now,
I've lost my world,
I've lost my spirit,
I've lost my everything.
.
Its just me , forever alone .
29th January 2018






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| Kung Pau Chicken With Rice = RM15 |




Sampai je hotel , kami pun makan makanan yang dah ditapau dari rumah iaitu AYAM MASAK MERAH ! yummmiie . Bak kata babah, "Jauh ayam ni berjalan" hahaha .

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| ni babah aku okayyy ! |

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| Jackie Chan's handprint ! |
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| yang dah meninggal, diorang akan letak simbol ni ; Bruce Lee |

kemain bergambar hahaha . First day sahaja memang penat gila wehhhh ! Tapi , berbaloi sebab dapat amik gambar hahahah tuje keje . Balik je hotel memang terlentang penat . hahaha dengan sesat lagi kat blok hotel sebab dia ade banyak blok, n then dah sesat masuk blok lain hm memang cari gaduh ah itu blokk , memeningkan otak hahah .
LESSON LEARNED !
- BOOKED MAKANAN AWAL SEBELUM FLIGHT !
- KAJI DAHULU TEMPAT YANG BAKAL ANDA PERGI . Fyi, tempat blok kami tu tempat gengster fuhh seram bila dengar . Tapi, kalau kita tak kacau dia, dia tak kacau la kita . Jangan risau :))
- KAJI JUGA TEMPAT YANG MENARIK DI SEKITAR TEMPAT TINGGAL ANDA
- BAWA MAKANAN DARI RUMAH . MAKANAN DI SINI SANGAT MAHAL !
Sometimes, it is okay to let go the thing we love :))
.
5 months and it just left empty, like nothing happened.
All of jokes,
All of teases,
All of motivations,
All of dramas,
All of hopes,
All of you,
I miss every single second with you.
.
Its hurt,
When you are already focusing on your future with someone.
When you are already made up your mind just for someone.
When you are already mindsetting and planning everything for your future.
When you are already know whats your future be like.
Yes, it is just a fake hopes.
.
All of the hopes left fake.
Im trying so hard to let go of you.
Its hard cause i am just a girl.
.
You dont know,
How much time that i spent to reread our old conversation.
How much tears i wasted looking your eyes.
How much motivations that required to make myself even stronger everyday.
How much memory that i stepped out everytime it came.
.
Okay, maybe i think too much. I should focus on moving on 😇





- BOOKED AWAL AWAL GRAB CAR , JANGAN DAH NAK GERAK BARU NAK BOOKED .
- SEBELUM TRAVEL, BUAT DULU SOLAT HAJAT KAT RUMAH, MOGA PERJALANAN KITA DIPERMUDAHKAN DAN DIBERKATI ALLAH .





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| another present is for essay competition and Ive won the prize :)) |
There's two column . The first column is my end of the year examination and that is my result and the next column is my target for SPM . Even though I get just only 5A 3B 1E but I will not give up ! As I have a time, so, I can still make a change on that grade ! I will study more on Mathematics and bring up A+ in SPM ! Amiinnn !
That's all for this entry . I have many things to do . Account's folio for this year already out ! Need to manage my time very well !
Got to go , Bye 💘















